Category: Dating and Relationships
I'm posting this partly for my own curiosity's sake and partly to aid in my research for my gender and relationships psychology class. Do you believe in that one true love? Does everyone have one, and they're just waiting to discover him/her? Is love just fate or destiny? Also, will love just fade away? If it is true love, does it have the potential to disipate? What are the reasons? So...any experiences or thoughts.
Hmm
I'd say I do believe in the 1 and I'd like to think that Ardeth is that 1 in spite of our numerous problems she has stuck by me and words are inadequate to describe how i feel about her.
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Yes true love can disipate a relationship is bloody hard work and many either don't realise this, or arent prepared for the commitment and numerous sacrifices you need to make.Also there's always the question of infidelity some just seem blind to the fact that their partner is head over heels they commit adultery on a regular basis
If you wait and hope to discover this 1 you will grow old alone and die.It's a case of putting yourself out there taking the knocks and looking,but too many fear rejection so they stay at home hoping and waiting in vain.
I totally agree...especially on your second post. So many are so petrified of rejection, it keeps them from making any sort of effort. And then they continue to wonder why they're not happy...or in that fulfilling relationship they so desperately seek.
Hmm, if you mean true love as in, thre's only one person out there for you and you can't love anyone else I'd have to disagree with that and say true love doesn't exist.
I think between any two people who meet or communicate there are dymanics, and the ynamics are unique. If you think about it, there are different things you like doing with different people, even to the point where you come an almost different person.
I think love really consists of two major parts (or there are two major things hat have to be in place for love to work, in the long term). Physical attraction (you have to be crazy about the person you're with, well, not even crazy, but you have to fancy that person, dream about her/him and being with that person is one of the best things you can imainge) but also friendship .. you have to be able to talk about stuff, enjoy being around each other even if nothing's going on, but also go explore things together, I think having at least some of the same hobbies is important since it gives you a common basis that you can use to learn abut each other. And the other person should also be sufficiently unlike you so that he/she can show you new things, cultures or just experience something new and different. I think what keeps the love and happiness alive is often the constant discovery of little things you never knew about the person and the realization this can continue virtually forever, how they respond to certain situations, what they like what they don't like, how they get embarressed at certain times or under certain situations, how they act when they're sick etc. :)
I think not many people are able to have both things, well ..let me rephrase, not anyone you meet is going to have features like that but I think you could be happy with a handful of people you meet in your life. Everyone's so different it's sohard to compare. I've been in love with different people (I don't want to be a player but I had 3 serious relationships, every time I was very committed two it, tw of them just ended up not working).
In any case they were all unique and they all had a lot of romance and I think the first two could have made me happy and worked out if things had been different. I had strong feelings for all the girls involved, but they were very different. I don't want to really compare them, not in my head, because when you're in a relationship you don't want to be reminded of what happened before.
But, bottomline, "true love" does exist but it's something you have to develop and I relly don't think there is this one person that you instantly realize is the only person you could ever have feelings for or be happy with and, like Goblin said, it takes work to keep a relationship alive, sometimes it's not even easy but the rewards can be so truly amazing it's the best thing you ever worked on. :)
cheers
-B
I definitely find this discussion very interesting..Do I believe in true love? I do, but by this meaning of "true", like wildebrew, I don't neceserilly believe that it means one person and one person only. I would agree with what wildebrew says..when you're in relationship you need to have some common interest with the person..I think you above all, need to have a good friendship developed, you have to enjoy each other companies, there needs to be interest in talking to each other, discovering about each other, doing things together. If that doesn't exist, there's no point, I have seen people who tried to force their relationship just because they head it in their heads that they should be together with a particular person, even though on surface they seem to not enjoy much they do together and I've been also tried to be forced in to relationships by girls who think knew me, who thought that I was everything to them, yet I found absolutely no interest in them and they actually knew not much about me, but for some strange reason thought they they liked me. Relationships are difficult and they sure do require lot of commitment and also compromise. I think that's also very important, it's always easy to argue, or demand, but compromise is also a big and important part of relationship, also openness, comunication, trust and honesty. I'd also agree about rejection, if you keep being afraid of that rejection you'll end up wating all your life, and this applys for both girls and guys. Although i had a bad experience with rejection as I was friends, very good friend, with a girl for several years and yet when I tried a relationship, or rather when I told her that I had feelings for her, not only that she told me that she didn't have same feeling sor me, but she also broke this friendship, I tried to reinstate it, but it never worked, that quite hurt me, at for a while I was quite afraid to make the initial move in case something like that happens again, but I realised that there was no point, because in that time I already lost 2 chances with girls that I think had interest in me, just because I didn't do anything about it, so I got over my little scare of rejection.. I know that I have posted kinda negatively a few times on this board, but this is not because of the fear of a rejection, but rather lack of girls that seem to want to believe in my values or agree with my views of relationship, but that's another totally different suhbject..to get back on the topic, as I said, I think true love does exist, it doesn't have to be only one particular person, but sometimes we think that we found that true love, but it doesn't work out for various reasons. I don't believe in all that that everyone has someone and that they're just wating for them, people are different, some people are very emotionaly shy or are not ver open people, some are not very outgoing people and naturally, it's harder for them to find someone because they're not socially involved like some others might be, that, of course, doesn't mean that those people will not find their "love", but, baisicly, it's all about people, behaviours and reaction and connection between 2 people.
I believe it's in everyone's destiny to find one true love and for two souls to match. However, I believe one must trust fate and all other higher universal powers when they feel they've fallen in love. I thought my first relationship was "the one" and he turned out not to be. Now, though I tried to avoid it like the plague, fate ruled and handed me a second relationship. I'm not going to try and delve deep into the mysteries to figure out if this is another trick of fate or the one true destiny. I'd be playing a dangerous game if I did.
Well! I used to believe, like most of you who have posted on this topic, that there's not one true love, that any two people could fall in love, and maybe, stay in love, but now I know differently. I can't explain it, the only thing i can really explain is that, I've loved before, and been in relationships before, but have never felt as strongly spiritually and emotionally connected with, or this much in love with anyone, and to be quite honest I never thought this kind of mutual love and respect among a man and woman, was even, remotely possible. But it is! And, wow! I'm glad I found it!
Charis
Me too, I've gotta say it. Yeah I know, no great news flash lol, but I do truly believe now! I never believed in all those old cliches two becoming one, founding your othe rhalf, when it happens you will know, but ... well it's true, when it happens, there's no getting away from it! So yeah! True love not only exists, and is possible, but for those of us lucky enough to find it, it's also the greatest, most precious gift anyone could ever receive and give.
Sweet
Its possible that these people have spent their entire lives living with the pain of rejection so, they just hide to spare themselves further trauma.
I think the majority of men and women are NOT compatible with each other. Very likely, the women you meet are going to have things about them you don't like or that piss you off. I think most men don't realize this. They approach a first date like she's his future wife, or at least his future one-night stand, and try to NOT screw up! This behavior is the exact opposite from the type of behavior that triggers ATTRACTION in a woman. No wonder women think men are so boring these days! For somebody to be successful in dating and finding an INCREDIBLE partner that they enjoy spending time with, they need to learn how to be the kind of person that is attractive to the opposite sex, and then they need to get out there and date a LOT. I couldn't tell you whether soulmates exist, but some claim they do, and many settle for less than they deserve.
love, it's a truely wonderful thing. I do believe that there is only one true love for everyone. Sometimes, it just takes a few loves to get to that. For example, my sister had 2 boyfriends, dated both through out high school, at different times mind you, and her first love, ended up being her husband. I also think that fait does play a part in love. Fait decides who we should be with. We learn lessons about love from previous flings or relationships, so that when the one true love does come along, we are better prepared for it. I also think that there has to be an emotion, spiritual, and mental bond with that person. You both "work on the same page". Love like others have said on here is not easy. It can be one of the most painful things for one to deal with in their lives. Sometimes, your true love leaves for certain reasons, but you know in your heart that that person was the one. I am happy to sayl, that I believe that destany has gibven me my true love. I had sines to proove it. I will not get in to that, cuz I don't want you all to think I am crazy, but lets just say that fate works in mysterious ways. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs, but we manage. We know that when it comes down to it, we are meant to be. We have that given connection by fate to keep one an other going. If we weren't suppose to be together, I think things would have happened differently. This person was my first love, and I hope that he is my last.
Hmm...interesting views by everyone. I tend to agree with wildebrew in that there doesn't necessarily exist that one true love. Love can exist in many different forms and with varying degrees of intensity, but that doesn't discount it as being love. I've loved on several levels, all quite special and all quite extraordinary in their own way. Love is dependent on a true coonnection. I believe this is more likely to exist when common interests/hobbies are shared. There also has to be some degree of difference, an exchange of ideas and philosophies, as brought out before, but similar core values and life goals must be present in order for a long term relationship to work.
Well how do we define the term "true love". Is true love that feeling when all you can think about is that person? when all you can do is miss that person when he/she is not around? because in reality that's not love, that's lust, because that overwhelming feeling does pass after a time. Those feelings of always wanting to be together, always wanting to talk to each other, not wanting to let each other go for a single second are all part of what makes a new relationship, and with time, those feelings fade and are replaced with a deeper feeling, a respect, a mutual bond, which, if the relationship is right, will never fade. We all, well most of us, have loved and lost, and loved again, and with each new relationship you say "I've never felt this way about anyone!" and that's because you haven't. It's because every person is unique, and because you love every person in a unique way. And that doesn't by any means demene the feelings you have in your current relationship, it doesn't mean that some people don't find someone and love that person for the rest of their lives, but that one true love? I dunnow. if that person you think of as your one true love died tomorrow, you would learn to love again, because as humans we are not meant to be on our own.
true love needs time to grow. its like a flower in the garden. if someone really cares about that person then he/she is willing to take a risk. a chance just to be with him/her. Love is sometimes fate but its all up to you to make it happen. if you feel a strong emotional attachment to that person, it does not mean that you love him/her. Love has a lot of signs its not only telling someone how you feel, its Showing how you feel. i have fallen in love twice and the first time was four years. we were never together but were good friends. Remember infatuation is just one of the ways that can lead to love.
Hey Love is never lust but it goes together, in the right time.
not necessarily